Elderhood and the necessity for grief



Stephen Jenkinson, the Canadian citizen, is often talking about To be an elder.

And that includes grief.

The grief of losing someone dear to us. 

But also grief for a dying culture.

I was not good at grieving when my mother died.

Partly because she was over nighty, she was demented and sad and she had the right tp be proud of her life. 

She actually started dying when my dad and later on my elder brother died, that was doo much for him.

May she was, as I am, a bit too sensitive too handle all the troublesome things in this world. Masshunger, war, hard words from people all around, maybe mostly in the media that was quite new for her; radio, tv newspapers... 

We had a quite good life in Sweden, but what about the rest of the world..... 

I have been aware of the personal death for a long time. The view of live forever has not comfort me at all, In Buddhism and meditation you also learn to be aware of death too. As life is troublesome it's no disaster to die, it's worse to be born again - if you believe in reincarnation.

Jenkinson does not, therefore for him its important to grieve; our parents are gone forever when they die - and so our you when you go... 

And even worse our whole western culture is dying, even if it seems that he mostly means the American culture.  

But it started long ago - when mankind learned that trees was made for us to cut down, thaty had no value in their own.  

Well there are some cultures that still have respect for trees and wild animals, but as we know they are on the brink of extinction too. 

So we should grieve, there seems to be nothing to do about it  cultures come and go and so do species. 

For Jenkinson hope is an obstacle for grieve, but hopelessness isn't good either.  Anger is even worse as it as reaction to hidden sorrow. And I think it's true, our culture is an angry one. 


So what good is grief for if it gives us no hope?

Well, I guess Jenkinson its a way to see our existence in true light. 

He kievs on farm with his wife, he sees the seasons come and go. You can cut down some of the trees but leave most of them were they are - maybe the word balance is the most appropriate here. 

We have forgotten how to grieve and therefore we live very superficially and have angry voices in our heads  most of hour time. 

For me, as I'm getting older and gradually lose my capabilities it should be natural to slow my pace, work less for money, more for nature and for my near and dear ones. 

Maybe prepare for my own death by letting my sorrow deepen me and focus on the most important things... 

Here you can listen to a lot of interviews with Jenkinson:  https://soundcloud.com/aotearoa-karen/sets/stephen-jenkinson-an-elder

 

To balance up the description of Jenkinson its good to note that he has been described as a storyteller and song-and-dance-man too!




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