To get out of the hole

Many of us feel like as we are stuck in a hole.
It can be a trauma from the childhood,  or maybe we been hurt as adults.

A common way is to distract our selves so we don't have to be reminded of it.

It can be shopping, alcohol, destructive sex, it can be looking for fame.

The trouble is that it can be addictive. We can be caught in a bahviour.

Often it is better to have a look at the feelings, it can be loneliness, sadness, anger,despair.... (if it is even deeper feelings it's better to first go a a doctor)
It's okay t have those feeling,  just breath with the feeling and let them be there, if you not are too tired or stressed you can take care of them.

If you now what will trigger the feeling try to stay away from it....

there are so many thing out here that will trigger feelings as scariness - on the net, on the TV, in certain newspapers.
I have no TV and  read serious newspapers. The net is more difficult.
It can be addictive too.

maybe he five mkindfulness trainings can guide us; http://plumvillage.org/mindfulness-practice/the-5-mindfulness-trainings/

You don't have to to be a Buddhist to follow them - you can just use them as guidelines...
- better not getting addicted to them or to religion - that will make it too easy to condemn other people or even yourself - but without an ethical ground mindfulness can be used for everything...

You can also find other ways to calm your feelings.

For me it's nature and walking meditation.
Before you walk, just stand still take some breaths and be aware of whats inside of you.

It maybe not be thought, perhaps just feelings, often very subtle ones...

Try to be with them, perhaps imagine that you breath with the part of the body where you can find the feelings. Perhaps you will find that you have had those feelings for a long time, without knowing it..

Don't criticize yourself for what you think or feel - be very gentle with your self...

When you start walk , be aware of the breath: if is deep and calm, the out breath will be a little bit longer then the in breath.

Often it i appropriate to take two steps at the in breath and three at the out breath...
If you get used to that, it will be easy to practice walking mediation  where ever you go...


If we have got so hurt that we have a hole in our soul, we have to be careful not to pass it over to other people

Perhaps we have got so used to it, so we feel at home with it, it has been a habit. But if we can be aware of it we maybe can make a change.

Many of us has a tendency to get bitter at things, because that will hide the bitterness we fell for our own life....

If you see that you have such a pattern, you can turn it around; look around for what is good in your life and
be thankful....

In spite of the hole in the soul, you for sure have achieved much.... perhaps your situation,  has made it possible to understand and help other other people. What good have you done in your life - to yourself and to other people or animals?

Perhaps, one day, you can use mindfulness as a ladder to take you out of the hole...





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